A poll:
Well, it's spring, and the world is in bloom and we are all once again twitterpated. Naturally, with spring and twitterpation comes babies. And with babies come the dreaded showers (and I don't mean the soap and bubble sort).
So I've been thinking a lot about this lately (don't ask me why), and I have to say, I'm feeling slightly cheesed. So I'm polling you.
What is the point of a baby shower? Is it:
a) To celebrate the baby, and thus to be held after the baby has arrived so that family and friends can see and hold and cuddle and squeeze the little peanut, as every peanut should be?
or is it:
b) Without sounding too crude, to get the mother the things she needs for the baby--clothes, toys, cribs, bottles, bassinets, dressers, etc. And thus to be held before the baby, with the pregnant mom.
Wile I realize that showers always involve gifts, at what point does it become excessive? And at what point do we say, "Hey! It's your baby. You chose to have it. It's your responsibility to get the things you need for it."
I mean, I know people who have REGISTERED for baby showers. I know friends who have purchased BREAST PUMPS as shower gifts... Does this seem ridiculous to anyone but me? It's getting to the point where having a baby is like getting married--you can't go to the wedding without a gift; you can't see the baby without a gift.
What do you think? Am I being silly? What about those out there who have had kids? There aren't many of you, I know... Ash?
7 comments:
Is it possibly because of who is having said child and the attention she is receiving because of it that has ton knickers in a knot?
I think babies have a high start-up cost, so I think showers (like bridal showers) started as a way to get mom the stuff she needs, and to celebrate the birth. I've heard you have to change babies like 20 times a day so the more sleepers the betta...and I think it was also a way for women to pass on advice to new moms. I don't know if I can criticize registering that much, because seriously, how many Bunnykins dish sets does one child need? But I do think it's sad to have to pay to see the baby, and to make it all about how great the mom is, and the "trying to give the best gift" thing. I would feel awkward if you gave me a breast pump, just for future refs. I think group gifts are the best - like in small towns where they still do the boxes.
But agreed, these things (including wedding stuff) have gotten out of control. They've almost become high society.
Pants
No, it's not what you're thinking, clever Pants. I've just been reflecting on the idea of showers in general, what with my sisters bridal showers up and coming, and the numerous baby shower which I know are forth coming... When are you having yours?
But I'm sticking to my guns on this one: I think registering for baby gifts is ridiculous...
Ah, Hurr_ah. Board game wisdom. Fantastic. Now, if only we could somehow work some Ghettopoly wisdom into our everyday lives...
I'm still confused on the whole 'having babies' angle. This is a question that gets people up in arms, it seems, but seriously, why do it? i'm curious as to the point. an unrebuttable answer would be good to hear.
w
The purpose of having babies = raising an entire army of ninjas.
Babies = small, thus sneaky and quick.
Babies = easily brainwashed, i.e. eating mushed up chicken and yams is a good thing.
Babies = look funny in ninja costumes and thus add a level of hilariosity to the whole project.
Rebutt that.
Well, since I've specifically been asked to weigh in as the new mom in the group...
I think of baby showers as a party to celebrate a big change in someone's life. In that way, it's a bit like a wedding. And, as Pants noted, just like a wedding, there are start-up costs involved with this life change that can be expensive. Gifts, therefore, are usually expected. However, I don't actually think of gifts as obligatory at a shower...depending on your relationship to the new Mom, I think a card is just fine. When I was expecting LilyMab, I got gifts, sometimes expensive ones, from people I barely knew. It made me feel a bit awkward. I spent a lot of time writing out thank-yous.
If you do choose to get a gift, practical things are a good idea. Val is right - one of the best gifts I got was diapers. Changing pads are pretty useful (less than $10 and I didn't get any), and you can never have enough diaper shirts, bibs, bottles, baby spoons, etc. Even gift certificates to Wal-Mart or wherever are good - they can be used to buy formula and baby food.
As for registries, I'm on the fence. I didn't have one, but a lot of people kept phoning me and asking us what they could buy (3 calls a day when I was 8 months along and just wanted to be sleeping). It got a bit tiring, especially since I'd never had a kid before and had no idea what I'd actually use. I can see where someone might choose to register just so that they could tell the people who keep calling...well, we're registered here if that helps.
As for "paying to see the baby" - ick. I've actually heard of showers where people had to pay to hold the baby for a few minutes as a way of making money for the new parents. How tacky is that?? I had my shower before the baby was born, but I've tried to visit everyone since then...haven't made it to Edmonton yet, but plans are underway for June. Don't worry, you can all play with the baby for free should you want to see her.
Anyway, I've rambled enough here. Hope that the baby showers don't get you too down...and I hope something I said helped you out!
PS: my baby actually is a ninja, so I can back up Frances' ninja comment. But really, having kids isn't for everybody. If you don't want to have kids, it's not an obligatory life goal. They are pretty cute in their ninja pants, though.
As for me, I had a baby because I wanted to: it was something that made me completely happy. In life, you should always follow your happiness. That's just my opinion. :)
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